Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
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My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
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Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize