I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
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Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
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I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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