I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
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Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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