glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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