The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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