I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize