I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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