I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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