i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I need to calm my uterus...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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