ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize