Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize