I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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