hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize