I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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