i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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