I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
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It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
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There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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