Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
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We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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