ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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