God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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