he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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