Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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