Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
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We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
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Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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