Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize