nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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