I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
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I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
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I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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