Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize