i wish there were pregnant emoticons
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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