hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize