plz talk dirty to me
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize