Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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