No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
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It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
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Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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