mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize