elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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