My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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