operation harelip BJ is a go
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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