this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize