trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize