you're like a bully in the Christmas story
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
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So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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