I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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