dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
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