I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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