So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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