I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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