What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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