I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize