His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
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He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
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Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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