I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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