I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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