She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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