i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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